By now, she should have had at least a handful of orgasms. If not, maybe you should consider picking up a few power tools at your neighborhood adult store. Having a healthy sex life is important, especially at this point in your relationship. It only goes downhill from here. A recent survey found that married couples have sex thirty percent less often than unmarried couples living together.

This is a big step. And, if you’re feeling generous, a bigger purchase than your car. If you can afford to (or even if you cannot), bump up your budget. She’s going to look at the ring everyday. Sooner or later, it’ll pay off (think “Get out of Jail Free”).

Discuss expenses and budget (bride/groom)

In order to stay in her good graces, be prepared to go to plenty of bridal fairs, food tastings, music picking and wedding planner interviews. Remember being prepared to go does not imply being prepared to offer an opinion. Speak only when spoken to. And if asked about your thoughts, “I like what you like” is always a safe response.

Discuss ceremony and counseling with clergy or officiant

If you plan on a religious ceremony, check for pre-wedding requirements, such as counseling. If its interfaith, clear things with your priest or rabbi first. You don’t want the “I object” to come from the altar. Other than the promise to marry, the content of the ceremony is yours to make up. Be creative!

This one is all you baby! She expects you to plan this from Airlines to Zoo tours. The average honeymoon lasts eight days and costs about $3,700. Be sure to confirm your passports are still valid and check for any visa or immunization requirements.

Music can make or break a party. Spend time scouting for talent. Hit the clubs. Crash a few weddings. At a minimum, make sure the band can play the songs you most want. A DJ is usually less expensive and can offer a wider variety of music, but might make the reception seem too informal. And make sure you get everything you want in writing. You know how flaky rock stars can be.

The first of many parties to come! This is the time to announce your upcoming union to the world. Invite friends and family, but probably not any ex-girlfriends. Or at least not your most recent ex-girlfriend. Gifts should be appreciated, but not required. Although you might want to note who brings the twenty-dollar bottle of champagne and who brings the six-pack of sparkling grape cider.

It is the groom (or his family) that picks up the check for the rehearsal dinner. Choose a fun place, such as a restaurant or a large house, to celebrate. But try not to invite the world. Typically, you should invite the wedding party, both sets of parents, grandparents and godparents, the officiant and any out-of-town guests. 

If you aren’t living together already, you need to plan for shelter after the wedding. Your choices are simple: your place, her place or some place else. Compare cost, square footage, rodent population and ability to store things (lots of presents are coming). If still undecided, think about making a clean break and pick a new place. Just be sure there’s room for your La-Z-Boy, neon Bud sign and high school diploma.

By now, your blood pressure should be higher than your daily ATM limit. You need a break. And don’t forget the future Mrs. You needs a break too. Take a wedding-free trip for the weekend. Don’t worry about spending a lot. Just taking a time out from the daily grind should mean more to her than a suite at the Four Seasons. But if you can splurge, by all means order the seaweed wrap for two.

While her wedding band should probably compliment the engagement ring, you have many more choices. There’s gold, titanium or platinum. Comfort, fancy or plain bands. Diamonds or two-toned accents. Three, four, five or six millimeters. At a minimum you can have matching engravings. Some couples have their initials engraved with their wedding date inside the ring. Avoid suggesting “RIP.” 

There’s going to be a new Mrs. Smith (or Jones or Bundy) soon. And that might cause some concern with the original one. Thank your mom. Tell her how much her support means to you. And to your future wife (even if they aren’t on speaking terms yet). A simple call to mom will help make your transition from her innocent little boy to her married big man easier. Put those free nighttime minutes to good use.

It’s never too early. Unless you are trying to drop a Speedo size or two. Don’t push this one out too far. Losing weight gets harder as the wedding approaches. Plus after all of your wedding expenses, you might not want to go clothes shopping. But consider how much of a mood-blower your tattered Motley Crue T-shirt will be at your beach bungalow before you dismiss a J.Crew trip.

You should call or visit the appropriate license bureau (usually the city or county clerk’s office) and make sure you understand how to obtain a license. You may have to get a blood test in order to complete the application. Some states have a mandatory waiting period and/or expiration date for the licenses. It’s best not to joke about any of these topics with your mate.

A gift is a great way to thank your buddies for putting up with you during your engagement and for helping out during the wedding. You could get the same gift for everyone or try to personalize each one. Plan to give the gifts during the rehearsal dinner. As for your bride, you don’t have to go overboard. A simple (read: inexpensive) piece of jewelry or keepsake (e.g., scrapbook or photo album) should do the trick.

The wedding hasn’t happened and already you have to say thanks. For what? Maybe presents from your couple’s shower. Or from your engagement party. Regardless, put your gift of gab to good work. Still stuck? Just be sure to personalize each one by referencing their present and telling the giver what you plan to do with it. Besides returning it for cash.

Nothing shows your woman that you care about the wedding than helping out with the little things so she can focus on bigger issues (like how many roses there will be on each centerpiece). While you are at the jewelry store, make note of all the diamond bracelets, earrings and necklaces. Just because you bought a diamond ring, don’t think you’re done with that precious gem.

By this point, she has been 150% focused on making sure the wedding goes smoothly and 0% on everything else, including her car. Surprise her by getting the oil changed. Odds are she forgot that pesky three month or three thousand mile rule long ago. And if you don’t complain about the condition of her car, she may let you use your dipstick on her as well. Vroom vroom.

Now’s not the time to assume all is well with the honeymoon. Expect the worst. Call the airlines, hotels, tour companies, bars and boogie board rental shacks. Make sure they know you are coming.

No this isn’t about a getaway car. Your best man should help with ride arrangements from the reception to the airport (or hotel if you are leaving the next day). It’s okay to rely on your best man for help with other things as well. That’s his job. Along with marrying your fiancee if you fail to show up at the wedding.

Time to head to the clerk’s office and sign your life away. Go as a couple and bring proper identification (with picture and signature). If this isn’t your first marriage, be prepared to say when your last one ended. If it’s recent, you may need to show a certified copy of the divorce or death certificate. It shouldn’t take too long to complete this task. Do something fun afterwards.

It’s not what you think. Or if you failed miserably at helping her plan the wedding, it is what you think. Take a few moments and pack a change of clothes for after the reception and all your new honeymoon attire. Doing this early will ensure you have time for some last minute purchases. You can’t have enough flower-print shirts and boat shoes.

If there’s any moving to be done, do it now to make it easier when you get back from your honeymoon. Throw out the garbage (translation: anything your fiancée says is the “old you”), box your stuff and coordinate the movers (or the U-Haul truck, if you are a do-it-yourselfer). Don’t forget to fill out change of address forms. You wouldn’t want to miss a single issue of Playboy.

Try on your tux to make sure all the measurements were correct. Or if your weight swung one way or the other, there’s enough time to alter the clothes. Also, follow up with everyone in your wedding party, including fathers, to make sure they pick up their tuxedos as well. Nothing ruins a wedding faster than a group of guys who look like the picked their formal wear from Goodwill.

Time’s running out. While you probably won’t drop a few inches around your waist or get those six-pack abs she really wants, there are things you can do to be more presentable during your wedding (and beyond). Get a haircut. Floss more often. Sleep a bit longer. And a few last minute workouts and stomach crunches wouldn’t hurt either.

Attend rehearsal and dinner

(bride/groom)

Practice makes perfect. Hence the rehearsal. Make sure your fiancée is happy. Now’s the time to make any changes. The best man and host (usually your father) should make toasts at the dinner. You and your fiancée should thank the wedding party and your parents as well. Also you should hand out your groomsmen gifts.